We were wildly happy and in love when we got married...
You could tell how deeply happy we were by the way we looked at each other. We were in the moment together. If there was good music in the grocery store, we would dance together in the middle of the aisle. It didn't matter. We were made for one another. He wasn't just my partner, he was my friend. We could have endless discussions about fascinating topics together. We had so much in common. We were like two peas in a pod.
And we had done everything to prepare for marriage. We had gone to counseling. We had read plenty of relationship books and discussed them together being open and honest about what we could improve on and what we could implement in our relationship that we were reading.
We appeared to be completely set.
And we had done everything to prepare for marriage. We had gone to counseling. We had read plenty of relationship books and discussed them together being open and honest about what we could improve on and what we could implement in our relationship that we were reading.
We appeared to be completely set.
But by year 7 we were a shell of what we once were...
We weren't happy. We were constantly arguing with each other. We would be having a really nice time out together and then out of no where an argument would ensue leaving us going to bed mad at each other. Our spark had dwindled away. We were no longer connected with each other. Does this sound familiar?
If you've been there then you know how heart breaking this is. My heart was literally broken. I was in a relationship yet felt heart broken. I began to feel like there was no way out of this. Maybe we had made a mistake. Maybe we weren't as compatible as we had thought. Regardless of going to individual counseling and all of the work we would put in: Nothing worked. It had to mean that this wasn't meant to be right? It was time to let it go.
If you've been there then you know how heart breaking this is. My heart was literally broken. I was in a relationship yet felt heart broken. I began to feel like there was no way out of this. Maybe we had made a mistake. Maybe we weren't as compatible as we had thought. Regardless of going to individual counseling and all of the work we would put in: Nothing worked. It had to mean that this wasn't meant to be right? It was time to let it go.
And in that moment of doubt a voice came in....
I knew that we were right for each other. I knew that we were soul mates. I could see it. I talked to him about it and he would say the same thing. He even shared a story with me that he had never shared with me before. He said, "I don't know if I ever told you this, but that day we met, it was because my intuition told me to go there." We are both intuitive and empaths and have been guided in our lives a lot so it's not strange at all to me.
But despite all of this, it wasn't working.
Fortunately, that voice gave me enough motivation to be open to what we could do to change this. Mind you, we had already tried everything so I had no idea what it could possibly be. And then one day as I meditated before falling asleep, I heard that it was ancestral patterns that were creating the drama in our lives. I had nothing left to lose so I said, "Okay. I don't know what to do about that. Show me." And Spirit did. I felt ancestral energetic patterns leave my body and my mind instantly shifted. My thoughts entirely changed around our relationship.
But despite all of this, it wasn't working.
Fortunately, that voice gave me enough motivation to be open to what we could do to change this. Mind you, we had already tried everything so I had no idea what it could possibly be. And then one day as I meditated before falling asleep, I heard that it was ancestral patterns that were creating the drama in our lives. I had nothing left to lose so I said, "Okay. I don't know what to do about that. Show me." And Spirit did. I felt ancestral energetic patterns leave my body and my mind instantly shifted. My thoughts entirely changed around our relationship.
I could clearly see how my perception of my husband had been completely distorted by these energies.
I was blind to it while I was in it, but once I was on the other side I could clearly see how these energies had distorted how I viewed what my husband said and did and had a direct effect in my thoughts. They were the cause of my resentment and anger. They were the cause of feeling the need to bring up certain perceived problems over and over again. These energies created a fixation around these problems. Once they left, empathy came in. I could see how my husband was still who he had always been- extremely loving and kind.
It was a process, but we both continued to do this work together and over time we felt more connected and at peace in our marriage. We found excitement back in knowing each other. We began to enjoy being present with one another again. Life came back to our relationship.
We are heading into 15 years together now, both happy we stuck it out as the second half of our marriage has brought us immense joy.
It was a process, but we both continued to do this work together and over time we felt more connected and at peace in our marriage. We found excitement back in knowing each other. We began to enjoy being present with one another again. Life came back to our relationship.
We are heading into 15 years together now, both happy we stuck it out as the second half of our marriage has brought us immense joy.
How I Can Help You
"I help you get out of your marriage rut by using my intuitive abilities and practical tools."
I know it feels hopeless right now. Like me and my clients you have tried therapy, retreats, and church counseling, but it only works for a little bit and then you're back to where you started.
You're not doing anything wrong. You're stuck in a cycle and when anything becomes a cycle, it is a rigid pattern that is hard to break. It's not your fault.
Everything you've been trying thus far only works on the surface level.
- You are taught how to communicate more effectively, but it doesn't make a difference when your partner isn't feeling connected to you. It's the energy behind the communication that matters. It is whether they can feel you are empathetic with them or not. Usually if you've been fighting for a long time, you have lost that connection and ability to truly empathize with one another.
- You are taught to hug and kiss daily to stay connected, but that is just physical and meaningless if you're not actually feeling energetically bonded and connected.
- You are taught to say "I feel statements" such as "I feel frustrated when I get home and there are dishes in the sink" so as to not sound accusatory, but that makes no difference when deep down you have not forgiven your partner and you do in fact blame him for all of your marriage problems.
The truth is: Nothing will change until you change your energy and the energy within the relationship. The energy within a relationship dictates whether you feel joyous and happy together or grumpy and miserable together.
What do I mean by energy?
At the root of all living things is energy. Science does not know what's keeping us alive. They know that we have a heart and that when it stops beating we die, but they don't know what kept the heart beating and what made it stop.
What keeps your heart beating is energy also known as your life force. Society has made us forget what we are to the detriment of all areas of our lives.
When your energy suffers your whole life suffers.
When you begin to cultivate your energy and direct it in the path that you want to create, your whole life flourishes. It is wholistic. You cannot work on your energy to improve your relationships without it also affecting your health and your finances. It's all connected.
What keeps your heart beating is energy also known as your life force. Society has made us forget what we are to the detriment of all areas of our lives.
When your energy suffers your whole life suffers.
When you begin to cultivate your energy and direct it in the path that you want to create, your whole life flourishes. It is wholistic. You cannot work on your energy to improve your relationships without it also affecting your health and your finances. It's all connected.
This is the realization that there is more to life than what we see and it is the unseen that is creating our lives.
This is how I help you have a fulfilling relationship with your husband:
- I use my intuition to assess your relationship to bring to light what is causing the disharmony
- The disharmony can come from many different places ranging from negative energetic influences to generational patterns that are resurfacing themselves in your marriage
- I help you cultivate your energy to bring you to a place of emotional balance, joy, and presence that helps you not trigger so easily and show up in your relationship like the loving self you wish to be for your partner
- I help you change the patterns running through the relationship that are continuing the fight/make up/fight cycle
This is not a magic pill. This is real work that pays dividends in the joy that it will bring to all areas of your life once you get started.
What People Are Saying About Working With Me
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or a doctor. I do not provide medical or psychological services. If you are struggling with your physical or mental health you should seek the counsel of your primary care physician to get the proper care you need. Everything created by A Joyful Life Lived, LLC is meant for informational purposes only and is not meant to be misconstrued as personal advice.
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Start Restoring Your Marriage Today
Through working with clients, I have found that working together for at least 10 sessions is necessary to begin to see a change in the relationship. Remember this is real work. This is not surface level work. We will work together to make deep changes to transform how you show up in your marriage.
This plan includes an intuitive assessment.
This plan includes an intuitive assessment.
- This is an extensive assessment that I do on my own quiet time after our first call where we assess your specific goals and needs. During the initial call, I assess the problems that are occurring in the physical and I use that information to know what I am looking for that is causing these problems. These problems can be anything from external energetic influences to subconscious programming.
- I use this information to create a custom tailored plan for you. This will guide the work that we will be doing together during our sessions.
- Throughout our time together, I will continue to make intuitive assessments before we meet to continue to guide our sessions.
If you are ready to commit to Get Out of the Fight Make Up Fight Cycle, click on the link below. This is to schedule a free consultation to assess if I am the right person to help you.
Create Lasting Change
Commit to five weeks of intense coaching to dig deep, learn, and practice the tools that will help you have a fulfilling, connected, and joyful marriage.
Are you not ready to commit to the process, but would like to get a taste of the process? In the first session, I will assessthe relationship prior to our first session and during our session. From there, we will begin to process and create shifts starting in the second session. For a lasting shift in your energy people often need a minimum of ten sessions. Remember this isn't surface level work. This is a real commitment to create lasting change.
About Me
- I have been married to the same man for 14 years.
- This is my only marriage.
- Together we have been blessed with one son.
Our marriage has not been smooth sailing. Soon after we got married our generational patterns began to show up. We both come from divorced families. Both of our parents were long separated/divorced by now. We did not have models of what a connected and loving marriage looks like. We had to do the real work together to show up with grace, connection, and empathy. It was not easy. I can only speak for myself, but I can tell you that this journey has provided me with the most growth I have ever had in my life and I wouldn't have done it with anyone else.
I did not grow up in a connected family. At best I was tolerated by my mother. Because of that I did not know how to connect with my husband. I went from having a superficial level of understanding of what it means to be in a loving marriage believing it mainly meant things like self sacrifice and being giving to understanding that it is a real deep connection that comes from a deep place in my heart. This deep sense of love does not come with strings attached and does not hold resentment. It leads with empathy, kindness, and gentleness that can only happen from a deep transformation of the heart. That is my wish for you as well.
I did not grow up in a connected family. At best I was tolerated by my mother. Because of that I did not know how to connect with my husband. I went from having a superficial level of understanding of what it means to be in a loving marriage believing it mainly meant things like self sacrifice and being giving to understanding that it is a real deep connection that comes from a deep place in my heart. This deep sense of love does not come with strings attached and does not hold resentment. It leads with empathy, kindness, and gentleness that can only happen from a deep transformation of the heart. That is my wish for you as well.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or a therapist. My work with you should not be considered a replacement for appropriate professional care. Any materials (blog posts, newsletters, and other communications) created by A Joyful Life Lived, LLC are for educational purposes only. If you are struggling with any mental, emotional, or physical illness it is your responsibility to seek the counsel of your primary care provider. Nothing created out of A Joyful Life Lived, LLC should be misconstrued as personal or medical advice.
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